A Cautionary Tale
There once was a very rich man,
A very rich man was he.
He filled his face at a furious pace
And he sang, “Hey look at me!
I’m as rich, I’m as rich, I’m as rich, I’m as rich,
I’m as rich as a man can be!”
“I’m as rich, I’m as rich, I’m as rich, I’m as rich,
I’m as rich as a man can be!”
Now Lazarus was a poor man,
A very poor man was he,
He lived outdoors, all covered in sores
And he cried, “Please think of me!
I’m very very poor and I sit at your door,
I’m as poor as a man can be!”
“I’m very very poor and I sit at your door,
I’m as poor as a man can be!”
The rich man sat at his table
And scoffed his vast buffet
And sang, “Not a crumb will I give to the bum
Who squats at my gate all day!
He’s poor as can be and he smells of wee
And I wish he’d go away!”
“He’s poor as can be and he smells of wee
And I wish he’d go away!”
Now Lazarus sat by the gate post
But dared not enter in
And the dogs came along and they sang him a song,
“Man, how did you get so thin?
If you shake our paws, we’ll lick your sores,
For we like the taste of your skin!”
“If you shake our paws, we’ll lick your sores,
For we like the taste of your skin!”
Well the rich man went on feasting,
Until he up and died.
And the man at his gate met the very same fate
And they buried them side by side.
Of the two that were dead, one was overfed
And one was justified.
Of the two that were dead, one was overfed
And one was justified.
So the rich man looked about him
And liked not what he saw.
“That burning smell means I’ve gone to hell,
Now isn’t that a bore!
What a pain, what a pain, I’ll say it again
And again, for ever more!”
“What a pain, what a pain, I’ll say it again
And again, for ever more!”
Then gazing up to heaven,
The first thing that he spied
Was Lazarus there in a comfy chair
And the dogs were at his side.
And they laughed and they barked and they barked and they laughed
And they laughed until they cried.
And they laughed and they barked and they barked and they laughed
And they laughed until they cried.
But the rich man cried, “Have mercy!
This agony’s no fun!
My throat’s on fire and my one desire
Is some water on my tongue.
Just a drop, just a drop, just a single drop
Of water on my tongue!”
“Just a drop, just a drop, just a single drop
Of water on my tongue!”
And Lazarus said, “I’m sorry,
But the rules are very clear.
You swelled your girth while you lived on earth
And all I got was a sneer.
I’d come if I could but you weren’t very good,
So you’re there, instead of here.”
“I’d come if I could but you weren’t very good,
So you’re there, instead of here.”
Well the rich man said, “Oh Lazarus!
Behold the tears I shed.
I’ve brothers five who are still alive
In the world above my head.
I’m sure they’d repent if you were sent
To warn them from the dead.
“I’m sure they’d repent if you were sent
To warn them from the dead.”
But Lazarus answered sadly,
“I wish that that were true.
But they think the law is a crushing bore,
So there’s nothing I can do.
They’d still be doomed if I crept in their rooms
At night and shouted Boo!
“They’d still be doomed if I crept in their rooms
At night and shouted Boo!”
Then the rich man wailed, “God help me!
I’ve been a stupid fool!
I stuffed myself and squandered my wealth,
I was negligent and cruel.
Were I not in this blaze, I would change my ways
And obey the golden rule!”
“Were I not in this blaze and I would change my ways
And obey the golden rule!”
Then Lazarus said, “My goodness!
I’m quite surprised to see
You’re sad for the sin of your brethren
And the way you treated me.
A nasty shock may break the lock
And set the prisoner free.
“A nasty shock may break the lock
And set the prisoner free.”
The rich man ceased his wailing
And wakened with a start,
But not in the tomb, he was in his room
And a song was in his heart:
“I’m alive, I’m alive and now I’ll strive
Like hell to do my part!”
“I’m alive, I’m alive and now I’ll strive
Like hell to do my part!”
He flung aside the bed clothes
And donned his dressing gown,
Then down to the gate where he found his mate,
Poor Lazarus on the ground.
“Come eat at my house, I’m a dreadful louse!”
But Lazarus made no sound.
“Come eat at my house, I’m a dreadful louse!”
But Lazarus made no sound.
The rich man sat there weeping
As the dogs all gathered round,
They howled at the sky while the rich man cried
But Lazarus made no sound.
“I came to the gate but I came too late,
Now I’ll bury you in the ground!”
“I came to the gate but I came too late,
Now I’ll bury you in the ground!”
The rich man mourned for Lazarus
And we hear he’s mourning yet.
He emptied his store and he fed the poor
But he never could forget.
So be kind while you can to your fellow man
Or live with a load of regret!
So be kind while you can to your fellow man
Or live with a load of regret!